I’ve worked full time outside the house this week. What with all the family business involvement I’ve also been working more daytime hours for several months now. It’s doing my head in.

I’ve always wanted to be around for my children. I have sometimes wondered, guiltily, if I want this to avoid thinking about serious career decisions but currently I am sure that is not the case. I want to have the flexibility so I can be here when they need me, such as now when Third-and-Final-Son is groaning on the sofa with a stomach bug.

I have also realised, these last few weeks, that I like being able to clean my house a little bit. Stop laughing siblings – my home may not look like something from House & Garden, but the floors used to be clean, the dogs got a good walk every day and there was homemade cake.  Now everything is both dirty and untidyand it drives me bananas. I’m even grumpy as I go out in the morning because I have no time to do anything but fill lunchboxes and put out the washing before going to work. AND all my jeans feel tight because I’m not getting out with the dogs for so long.

So, the conclusions I have come to: For the next couple of years, until Third is at university, I want interesting part-time work, primarily home based, with some flexibility so I can run round after my boys.

BUT. I need an income. A much better income than I am currently making, despite all the out of the house hours.

And needs trump wants.