Good grief, two posts in one day. But this came home to me as I was walking the dog, and it’s important. You know how it is; as you pick your way down the valley side and stroll along the slope all kinds of random stuff is flickering through your mind in a general ‘information sorting coversation with self’ sort of way. In my case, the following:

What am I going to do about this research project…

When will I get round to finishing crocheting that scarf for my sister…

Why do so many women lose ambition when they have a family and retreat into mumsiness…

Am I wanting to retreat into mumsiness because it’s safer and less challenging…

What’s happened to that little girl who has gone missing, Shannon Matthews, just a couple of miles away from me…

What sort of life does her mother have, that she’s got seven children by five different fathers…

Remember all the women who have been impressed by you studying as a mature student with a family…

Remember how much they wanted to do the same – but they didn’t have the opportunity, or the confidence (or both), or their partner isn’t supportive (well, initially mine wasn’t either, but it boiled down to ‘support or divorce’ so he decided he’d rather support).

I can’t let them down. They want to know I can do it, so that they know, under different circumstances, they could have done it. That their daughters can do it, and still have a family.

For their sakes, I’ve got to give it my best shot. Even if all I do is scrape a pass.

Rachel’s potatoes

And then I went out into the garden when I got back from my walk, ostensibly to put the guinea pigs, Charlie and Cocoa, in their run. I got fiddling with one of my big tubs and found these potatoes, still buried from last summer as I had forgotten they were there. I was so pleased. A pirate must feel like this when he comes upon buried treasure. Lunch is sorted, and I must get cracking on the RP so I can fiddle in my garden much more, without guilt.

To do list:

Phone Barnsley branch for directions for tonight’s antenatal group.

Email supervisor with progress so far and probable scenarios for vignettes.

Contact midwife friend so she can also give her thoughts on scenarios.

Work on questionnaire.

Draw up plan/ skeleton for project introduction.

Boil potatoes.

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