You may laugh, but it’s a valid question. Especially when you have a generous bosom, and you’ve had three children so exposing your midriff isn’t an option.

For the last few years I’ve worn tankini tops with a ‘secret support’ shelf, but no matter how much I push them down to my nipples I always end up with a white, untanned strip between my boobs. I thought about going topless but my children refused to allow it, no matter how much I offered to sunbathe behind the windbreak. So this year I splashed out at Bravissimo (THE website for the larger busted woman – and bought a Panache plunge front, boned cup tankini top . Lo and behold, I have a tanned cleavage.

The downside to this is that I can’t manage plunge fronts very well. Maybe my boobs are the wrong shape? I seem to spend half my life looking down to see more boob hanging out of the cup than in. Are you supposed to buy a bigger size in a plunge bra? The consequences for the tankini were that every time I caught a good wave on the body board, I had to discreetly wriggle my chest back into place, while my sons looked pointedly in another direction. Hopefully they’ll make very understanding husbands for generously chested women some day.